Chapter: 27

Time Skip. Four months. As to the reviews- I didn’t respond… my fingers started aching really bad. Sorry… but thanks to those of you who reviewed.
Some of you will be disappointed how things turned out with this assassin training. But it was meant to turn out this way. Plus there are some of you who are just anxious to get Harry and Voldemort together. It's going to happen. Trust me. And when it does, I'll be blushing when I'm writing the lemon.

Chapter Twenty Seven: Now That I’m Unchained

Looking into the mirror, his eyes landed on the Seer mark. It was gold, no longer coal black. For the life of him, he couldn’t find it in himself to really care. He was almost a completed assassin now. Over five months… it had taken a long hard path, but he succeeded. Now all he had to do was complete his challenges and become an official assassin. After which, he’d go back into the wizarding world and destroy the light.

Harry looked at his reflection. He hadn’t looked this good for a long time. His pale skin was all but glowing and his spine and ribs no longer stuck out disgustingly. The brilliant green eyes had darkened considerably, due to his lack of contact with his emotions, but they looked harder, more dangerous.

Perhaps, after the war, he could get in touch with his Self again. But he couldn’t risk it now. Not now. His eyes lowered to the scar across his stomach and around his side. Emotions had almost cost him his life.

It had been a weekly match between him, and none other than little giant. He’d been four weeks into his training and Keiran was forced to accept the match. But it wouldn’t be to the death, his Master had made that clear as he stood between Harry and little giant to begin the duel. Students were surrounding the platform of their match- and that was Harry’s downfall.

He had kept his own against the little giant. In fact, he had done splendidly. He had felt Keiran’s pride from the sidelines and that’s where his arrogance and emotions came in the way. He still remembered the boy who had murmured the words ‘little fag’ up at him. It had been a boy with dark hair in his face and dark, almost black eyes. Standing in front of the mirror presently, Harry wondered why he had even let that bother him. But he had then. He took the pole he had been handling as his weapon against little giant and threw it in the boy’s face.

He remembered the feeling of smugness as he watched the boy from the sidelines go down, blood staining his face. But his emotions had blinded him, and that’s when his real opponent, little giant, had thrashed his dagger across his stomach and around his side.

Fingers traced the scar fondly. Without that incident, Harry would have never been able to succeed this quickly. Becoming an assassin would have never been within his grasp as it was now.

But… there was something still there. He could feel it within himself. It churned disgustingly in his stomach, reminding him his Seer wasn’t completely gone as it should have been. His mother had wanted him to succeed… but…

Harry brought his fingers up to clutch his hair, pulling at the roots. His body shook and an alien tightening knotted his stomach, almost like a snakes coil.

And his head shot up without his consent. Something was moving his body for him. His fingers dropped from his head on their own accord and he leaned closer into the mirror. And then he saw the source of his problem.

Instead of dim green eyes, crimson took their place. The pupils were split, like a serpent’s and they looked at his fading Seer mark…

And then the emotions licked his body like a burning flame.

Anger.

Desperation.

Loss.

“You promised,” his mouth parted in snake language, a language he hadn’t spoken for over four months. “You lied!”

Around him, the candles flickered and the floor caked over with ice from his raw magic, from their magic they shared together. The mirror trembled and Harry attempted to shake off Voldemort’s hold.

His fists rose on their own and slammed themselves into the mirror. Harry gasped, feeling his wrists and hands cut from the glass. Voldemort left him as Harry hit the floor, his head cracking on the ice bellow him. His body shook at the raw emotions and the blood on his hands stained the ice from beneath him. And then he remembered. He remembered himself. How he vowed to Voldemort that he would succeed.

This wasn’t succeeding.

He wasn’t succeeding, he was a failure.

After all this time, he’d thought he was doing the right thing by becoming cold.

Green eyes watched the crimson blood pour on the ice. What a fool he’s been…

“Harrison!” Keiran stepped inside the bathroom and with one stride, he was kneeling beside him. “What-,” Harry was pulled in the vampire’s arms and he felt his body being lifted from the floor.

Blackness curled around his vision and he went unconscious to the real world. Of course, that didn’t’ mean his mind stayed at rest like his body, because he found himself in a familiar place he hadn’t visited for over four months.

But there was no one here.

“Self?” Harry spoke icily. He clenched his jaw, trying to feel emotions. But they weren’t there. They were away, completely out of his reach. And Self wasn’t here to help him. He wondered briefly if this was what Regulus felt when his Seer left him completely. Did the man feel alone as he tried to reconnect with his Seer? Did he realize, just too late, that he could never grab hold of his emotions again and be that powerful Seer he once was? Or did he feel happy that he no longer had emotional attachments to his Self?

“Self!” Harry yelled, standing in the dark of nothingness. “I’m sorry!” He screamed, spreading his arms. “I’m sorry!” he repeated again, hearing his voice echo around him. Harry collapsed on the ground, his hands and knees holding him up.

“Are you really sorry?” A voice, sounding so familiar, spoke up from the shadows. Harry’s head reared up, squinting into the blackness to see a shape about the same size as him standing across from him.

“Self,” Harry got up from the floor, his chin up. “I though you’d left.”

“I did,” the voice said coolly. “I was on my way to become another Self for someone who deserves me.” Self inched deeper into the shadows and Harry felt his heart give a leap.

“Please don’t go,” Harry whispered. “I said I was sorry… I need you.” He swallowed.

“Funny,” Self drawled. “It took you a Dark Lord, the infamous emotionless man, to make you feel emotions again. You went for a long time without me, why would you need me to become a powerful assassin? Hmm?”

Harry shakily sat on the floor, never hearing Self so harsh and cold. “I…” he hesitated. “I was blinded; I thought I’d succeed better if I didn’t have any emotions.” Silence. “They would have killed me if I didn’t hide my emotions and act on them.” Silence again. “Self-,”

“You failed.” Self whispered. “I put up with this assassin bullock because you convinced me, yourself, that you could succeed. And you know what? You didn’t. You failed.” Harry breathed deeply, shutting his eyes. “And you know what else, Harrison? You are a failure at everything you’ve ever done.”

Harry winced, frowning. “I-,”

“All your life, you’ve always wanted to be something you’re not.” Self stepped from the shadows, his green eyes glowing. “It’s pathetic. You always want to be something that others have wanted you to be. Your father shaped you, those pathetic people you wanted as friends shaped you, that manipulative old coot shaped you, and this assassin shit…your mother wanted it, Regulus wanted it… but did you really want it? Or were you just doing it to prove them all wrong?” Self spat down at him.

Harry closed his eyes, breathing deeply. “You’re right.” He admitted. “Of course you’re right…” he opened his eyes at his double. “I did this to try to prove them all wrong. And all my life, I’ve been what everyone else wanted me to be.”

Self crouched down, his face still hard. “What do you want to be, Harrison?”

He couldn’t lie to himself.

Green eyes stared into the mirror image of himself. “I want to be a Seer.”

Self’s expression softened somewhat. “Why do you think you’re not good enough? Why do you think you’re not strong enough? You were strong enough before coming to the assassins.”

“I was meant to be here.” Harry started. “Regulus said I was destined to be here.”

Self gave a mocking grin. “You were.” He agreed. “Did you ever think it was because of this conversation? If you hadn’t come to the assassins, we would have never had this conversation. You would have never seen your flaws… of trying to be someone you’re not. Or maybe you were meant to be here to change Regulus. Being a Seer, you had the power to give him back emotions… the same goes with Keiran. He enjoys your presence, simply because he feels human once again, around you.”

“Or maybe,” Self sneered ,continuing. “It’s because as a Seer, you are more powerful than any assassin can hope to be. If you’re just an assassin, you’re average. You will never be able to help bring down the Head of the Assassin Guild. All those reasons could be why you were supposed to be here, Harrison.”

“It all comes down to me being a Seer,” Harry realized. “I was destined to fail here…” he sobered.

“No,” Self disagreed. “You were meant to be here, to succeed in being a Seer, Harrison, not a cold hearted assassin.”

He remembered the scar across his stomach and side. “But my duel I had the first-,”

Self gave a hiss in disgust. “It was your bloody first match. Of course you would have been distracted. There you go again, thinking you have to be perfect, perfect for everyone but yourself.” Harry frowned deeply, narrowing his eyes. “You didn’t give yourself time to work on combining your Seer and assassin. I’ll tell you this much. You will never be an assassin, Harrison. But you can be a Seer with the moves of an assassin. Keiran has taught you well; combine them together as they should be.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry started again. “I know my mistakes… I see them.”

Self reached out to touch his shoulder. “I know you do.”

“You’ll stay with me?” Harry asked, allowing himself to be vulnerable. It was himself after all.

“If you stay true to yourself, Harrison, I’ll always be here.” Hands took his own. “Its time you leave the assassins. You need to go back to the wizarding world.”

“I am strong enough,” Harry convinced himself; giving a nod.

“You were always strong enough.” Self argued back. “The Dark Lord has waited long enough for you. You need to go back to him. You’ve missed a lot of visions.” Harry snapped his eyes up at Self. “You’re father is in Azkaban, Harry. Your brother has the Lewd disease. The dark side is struggling, the werewolves aren’t corresponding with the Dark Lord… and he’s having trouble negotiating and recruiting. It’s time you show the world your true self, no?”

Harry felt sick. “That’s all happening?”

Damned Greyback.

“As much as Voldemort would like to hide how he’s losing, he is struggling.” Self grinned. “He needs you.”

“I can’t just leave the assassins. They’ll hunt me down if I don’t finish my last task in becoming an assassin.”

“Whoever said you can’t finish that last task?” Self grimaced. “Take what Keiran taught you and use your Seer. You’ll find that emotions are far more superior to no emotions. I just wish you would have seen that sooner.”

“You must think me as a child.” Harry spat. “I was so stupid…”

“You are a child, Harrison.” Self pulled away. Harry’s eyes widened at the comment. “You are a mere sixteen year old. Just because you’re a child, doesn’t mean you’re not powerful and mature for your age. Everyone makes mistakes, Harry. Even adults. Yes you made a major mistake in avoiding me, yourself and your emotions, but perhaps it was meant to happen.” Self slowly disappeared in the shadows.

“Be true to yourself and you will succeed.”

With Self’s parting words, Harry woke from his unconsciousness, feeling better than he had in years. He felt a weight being lifted from his shoulders and he laid still. Self was right, he was right. He had always crumbled under other people’s wishes and desires to be something else, something who he wasn’t, and that had affected him. Never once had he done things that he wanted to do.

But now, now he felt weightless.

He wanted to succeed in the last task in becoming an assassin, but he wanted to succeed because he used both his Seer and assassin abilities. And it was time for him to go back to the wizarding world. They needed him and he needed them. Voldemort especially, as much as he’d like to hide that fact from everyone and everything.

The Dark Lord wanted him back as well.

“I’m sorry,” a voice spoke from the side of him. Harry slowly opened his eyes, looking over at Keiran. The man was sitting in a chair at his bedside, starring at him. “I failed you.” Harry frowned, at the words, realizing he had said them to Self not too long ago. “I told you I could train you with your Seer. I was wrong.”

Harry looked down at his bandaged hands and then slowly moved his arm up near his head. His fingers touched his Seer mark, caressing it lovingly. Harry’s mark was facing the opposite way Keiran was sitting, of course he wouldn’t see that his mark was now a brilliant onyx. “Master Keiran,” Harry started, giving the man a grin. “It was completely my fault. I should have never stepped foot in this castle.”

Keiran frowned at him. Harry turned his cheek, showing the full-fledged mark. The vampire seemed to move his shoulders in relief. “No matter what you say, Harrison, I’m glad you did come.” The usual cold man gave a true smile. And Harry was reminded what Self said.

Perhaps he was destined to come to the assassins in order to make Regulus and Keiran feel again. Of course, it could have been because he needed to help the two vampires defeat the Head of the Assassin Guild. If he hadn’t come here, he would have never met these two.

Keiran leaned forward and took his hand. “Without you, I don’t think the assassins would have a chance of staying hidden. We need you, with your power, to help us against the Head of the Guild.”

Harry grinned. “Is that all, Master?” Keiran hesitated, not used to Harry’s outright expressions. It had been four months. Four months since he had felt emotions and Harry would never understand how someone could live without them. He would never abandon his Seer again. Without waiting for the vampire to reply, Harry looked up at the ceiling. “I need to go back to the wizarding world, Master. It’s time for me to go home.”

Keiran dropped Harry’s hand, leaning back in his seat. “When do we go?”

Blinking, Harry slowly sat up, wincing when he felt his head give a sharp throb. “We?”

“Of course,” Keiran leaned forward again. “The Head is getting deeper into the war, Harrison.” They hadn’t talked about this topic since that day in his room. “I’m willing to follow you into the wizarding world with a selected few assassins and Guild members. But if we fight on your side, you must promise me that you’ll keep our identity and everything about us silent.”

Harry nodded. “I wouldn’t think anything of it, Master.”

Keiran clasped his hands over Harry’s bandaged one. “Then let’s get you prepared for your last task.”

--SSC--

Grinning, Harry dodged a punch from Keiran, flipping backward gracefully and sideswiping the vampire with his feet. It was almost impossible to bring down the vampire, but over the course of four months, he stayed in the duel longer and longer. No one, no mere human, could defeat a vampire, not with their speed and lightning quick reflexes. Keiran always slowed for Harry, but he never made it easy…

Presently, the man was fighting with all his strength, with all his vampire quickness. They had agreed on it, wanting to see how Harry had improved. And just for fun… fun.

The vampire grabbed his foot and yanked him on his arse.

Harry grunted, going done heavily on the mats. It was different fighting with his emotions… but he knew he could never be without them, which is why he would try to fight with them, rather then against them.

He jumped quickly to his feet, closing in on Keiran with quick punches. The vampire stepped back, placing his hands up as a shield and catching each of his fists. Harry growled. What use was it to fight against a vampire?

Keiran gave him a wicked grin, using his hold on Harry’s hands and flipping the human around and on the ground once again. Clapping echoed across the training room and Harry looked up from the floor to watch a dark haired vampire slowly make his way inside the room. The man was a few inches taller than Harry and plenty inches short than Keiran. Dark brown hair went down to the man’s shoulders in waves.

“My, you are improving.” Cold black eyes drank in Harry’s form on the mat. Keiran stiffened, loosing his amusement with the fight. “When you came here, you could hardly stand against Keiran’s human, let alone get a few throws at his vampire.”

Harry slowly stood; his face stone. He knew who this was. He’d only seen the Head of the Assassin Guild once, but he’d never forget him. This was the first time the vampire had talked with him though. The first time they met, Harry had just arrived, looking pathetically weak against Keiran. Granted, he still didn’t have thick muscles like most of the assassins, but Keiran warned him he would never be buff. His Master trained him to be a deadly grace, not a brute force.

Sadly, he was still his petite self, only a much healthier glow about him.

He stood, barefoot and shirtless before the Head. “Harrison, I’d like to formally introduce you to Master Akira, the Head of the Assassin Guild.” The stare was intimidating, but being around both Keiran and Voldemort made Harry immune.

Staring stonily at the Master vampire, Harry gave a swift bow. “Master,” he said in greeting.

He felt Akira slowly circle him, almost the same way Keiran had done the first time they had met. Keiran was a stiff as a statue, his yellow eye cold and unfeeling. “I heard much about you, Harrison Malfoy.” Akira murmured coming back around to stare stoically at Harry. “I hear that you are ready to take your last exam in becoming an assassin. Keiran thinks you’re ready, do you agree?”

“I agree fully with my Master, yes.” Harry spoke softly, unperturbedly.

“It’s only been four months. What can another year hurt, hmm?” Harry refused to stiffen at the statement. Akira had to be working with a light wizard, he just had to be. The Head already knew about him and he was trying to get Harry to stay longer. And Harrison knew that the wizarding world, the dark side in particular, was slowly disappearing. If he were to stay another year, Harry knew the light side would crush the dark completely.

If Akira had been working for Voldemort, Harry knew the Dark Lord would have already convinced Akira to bring Harry to him.

“I see you still have the Seer inside you,” cold fingers reached out to grab his chin. Behind Akira, Keiran tensed slightly. “Do you think you could be a successful assassin while you hold so many emotions?”

“Yes, Master, I believe I can be more than proficient.”

His face was still held in the Head’s hold. Harry was looking down, knowing it would be labeled disrespectful if he kept eye contact. “Is that so?” Akira drawled. “Well, we’ll just have to see about that at your last task, won’t we?” The cold fingers let him go but Harry remained where he was. “You’ll be dueling for your last task, Harrison.”

Dueling? Was that it? Harry had done a few duels against the students in his stay here and had won every one of them besides his first.

“To the death of course,” Akira continued and Harry had to hold his breath in order to hide his stiffening. “You will be dueling against another star pupil, like yourself. Like you, he will be competing to become an assassin and his task will be to kill you in battle.” Akira gave a chuckle. “I’m sure you remember young Zachary here.” Harry looked up and met eyes with a dark stare.

It was the boy from his first match. Not little giant, but the one from the sidelines that had caused Harry to loose control over his emotions. The one he threw the crowbar at. The boy’s nose was crooked still and Harry resisted the urge to grin.

Akira’s hand landed on Zachary’s shoulder. “I took a hand in training him myself. And, as I know that Keiran is a good Master, I’m sure this will be an eventful fight.” Akira’s mouth twitched. “Especially with a Seer fighting.” The Head actually chuckled.

Zachary smirked as well, his eyes hard on Harry. “I hope you don’t let your emotions control you, like last time. It wouldn’t such a fair fight then.” The boy spoke fluidly, just as fluidly as any pureblood. Harry licked his lips, cocking his head to the side.

“I wouldn’t be too sure on that,” he whispered back. Of course he would let his emotions out. His Seer could easily destroy this boy in front of him. Zachary sneered at him before Akira turned his shoulders and led him toward the exit.

“The match will take place at sunset,” Akira drawled, still amused. “Don’t train him too hard beforehand, Keiran. I know how much you dislike losing.”

Keiran remained quiet, watching as the two made their way out the training arena. Once the door slammed shut, the vampire turned to survey Harry. “You’re ok,” Keiran didn’t ask, he reassured, placing a hand on Harry’s small shoulder. “He’s bigger than you, doubtless, but you know to rely on your reflexes and grace. You’re quick with the dagger as well.” The vampire lowered his face, placing it close to Harry’s. “You can kill, can’t you?”

Green eyes flashed. “Of course I can.”

Keiran grinned back. “They’ll try something underhanded, I already know as much. Don’t be afraid to use your Seer; just don’t use your magic.”

Harry gave a short laugh. “It looks like you’re more worried than I am, Master.”

The vampire gave a deep sigh, placing his other hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Keiran, Harrison.” Seeing Harry’s doubtless face, the vampire scoffed. “We’ll be fighting the war together, Harrison. Already, I know you’re a figurehead for the dark. I don’t want you calling me Master in front of your people.”

“I’m not ashamed to call you my Master,” Harry lifted his chin. “They should know to fear you.” He paused. “Just as a forewarning though, don’t expect much respect from the Dark Lord. He isn’t very open to…equality.” Merlin knows, it took him more than a good year to get that through the man’s head.

“Dark Lord’s are always arrogant,” Keiran shot back. Harry gave a small laugh. Keiran always thought he was arrogant.

“What are you going to do if we, the dark side, win the war?” He asked in all seriousness.

Keiran moved his hands from Harry. “Assuming that the Head is taken care of and his loyal assassins,” Keiran started with a quiet murmur. “I assume I would bring the rest of the assassins back here and start anew.”

“As Head of the Guild,” Harry wondered out loud. “You’ll make a good leader, Master.”

The yellow eye stared at him. A soft smile played the vampire’s lips. “Thank you, Harrison.” His Master paused. “I suppose you wouldn’t accept the offer to become a member of my Guild, will you? And become one of us?”

Shifting to the balls of his feet, Harry smiled sadly. “Regrettably, my place is in the destroyed wizarding world. And I wouldn’t know how my Seer would react with being a vampire.” Quite frankly, Pythia told him Seer probably have a good chance of becoming nonexistent if they become a magical creature, like a werewolf or a vampire, but she didn’t know for sure. No Seer has ever attempted- or risked- such a thing.

“The offer will always stand,” Keiran whispered. “And I don’t think I’ll stop asking. You’ve done me some good, coming here.” Even if Harry didn’t accept the position as a Guild member, he knew he’d be back to run assignments for Keiran when the man needed him. He’d have no choice but to agree to come back for his task.

“What is this? A heart to heart?” Harry tore away from Keiran’s intense stare toward Regulus’ striding form. The man had a knowing look on his face as he all but glided in the arena. “News is out that my cousin here is having his last task-,” he paused, looking at Harry. “Thank Merlin you’re back at being a Seer.” Before Harry could blink the man patted him on the back. Harry successfully kept his balance, shooting Regulus a look.

The vampire was a lot like his older brother Sirius. Merlin. Perhaps Harry had been wrong. Maybe Sirius didn’t use jokes and laughs as his mask. Harry knew some of it was an act, to cover up his dark side, but perhaps there was truth to it. After all, Regulus, an assassin, was just as bothersome.

“I thought you were going to turn out like me for a second and then we’d all be just cold, unemotional…”

“Regulus,” Keiran warned softly. “Have you done your task?”

The Black paused, looking over at the Hand. “Of course, Master Keiran,” he threw Harry an abashed look. “Honestly, he doesn’t believe in me… his ex-apprentice.” Regulus’ hands carded through Harry’s hair in a fatherly caress. Harry refused to sink into the touch. His mother had touched him like that… Regulus pulled at the few stray curls in Harry’s hair. “I told as many loyal as I could.”

“What are you talking about?” Harry swatted Regulus’ hold away. “Telling whom what?”

“Regulus has told the assassins worth being loyal to about the Head’s intentions of placing us into the limelight in the middle of the war. We simply gave them a choice of joining us as we leave…”

Harry gave a tight nod. “You’re causing a bigger rift.”

“Mmm,” Regulus hummed. “No one will act upon it until Keiran takes the first step. By the end of tonight, after your match, after you win,” Regulus paused, winking at Harry. “We will act. Keiran and I will gather those who will fight against the Head and follow you into the wizarding world.”

Pursing his lips, he glanced at a serene Keiran. “And is it an even split?”

The vampire gave a grin. “We’ll just have to wait and see when the time comes down to it.”

Harry turned away from the two. Could he win this fight? Could he take on the Head’s own apprentice? “Be true to yourself and you will succeed.” His Self murmured inside him again. Harry gave a grin.

Yes, he could do this.

A/n: Not my favorite chapter... Not much happened in here, I apologize. Harry realized his flaw and he was assigned his last task before he can become an assassin. Next chapter is one of my favorites. Perhaps I can get it up early? I’ve already finished it, now all I need to do is re-read it. Not that it does any good; I always miss something anyway… Thanks for sticking with me thus far. We’re almost there….kind of. Voldemort and Harry smut will be coming up soon. And I know all of you want that.